Last paycheck is on Friday.

Over the weekend, it really hit me that the income I’ve been accustomed to receiving for the last 10 years…stops.

I logged on to my computer on Monday and started to think about money. I really thought at this point that I would already have a contract job lined up, but I couldn’t get a resume together. I tried. But for a few months, I had some emotional baggage putting my work at my former employer down on paper. I’d cry. I put it down in bullet points and couldn’t understand why they let me go. But I know why. It had nothing to do with me. I was just in the wrong zip code.

I finally got it all put together in a resume format that I’ve been told is designed for ATS. I shared it with my job coach, a few longtime friends who are in recruiting or management, and a few new friends in the same situation. I got two reactions:

• Shock. “Have you really done all this?” Yeah, I have. “…Wow.”

• You really need a different resume for each type of job that you would be applying to.

I haven’t applied for any of those contract jobs yet. For one, I can’t start a new job until my severance ends on August 7th.

But instead of worrying about my resume, I had to worry about how I was going to pay my bills after that last paycheck.

And after all that networking that I’ve done over the last six months, I’ve met so many people who have been out of work for so long. It’s hard to keep the faith that all that effort that I put into a resume will even turn into employment. My resume may not ever be reviewed by a hiring manager. And from the managers currently hiring for marketing roles that I’ve talked to directly, the response is always, “You’re over-qualified.” Or, “You’ll be bored.”

And looking at the salary comps for permanent, full-time marketing and communications jobs in the St. Louis area, the average salary is about half of what I was making at my former employer. And the hourly rates for contract jobs are about one-third of what I need. Around $30/hour. I’ll barely break even.

And I’m setting aside the concern about health insurance. My neurologist refilled all of my prescriptions for my epilepsy so at least I’m good for the next 90 days.

I have a little bit in savings but the bulk of it is in my 401K. Thankfully, I have access to all that money right now - but it isn’t much. Less than one year of income. I’m still paying off debt from my 20s: student loans, credit cards. Debt that I had to take on when my son was a toddler and I couldn’t make ends meet but I was approved for loans and credit cards. And loans that I took on because I had the income to pay for them and I needed to do some stuff around the house - like finish my basement so my son had a bedroom and his own space.

I opened up the ledger that I use to keep track of my bills and my debt. I updated all those figures. I don’t live extravagantly but because of that debt, I need about $5,000/month.

• The first thing that I did was apply for my student loan deferment. That saves about $200/month. You are eligible for deferment when you lose your job. I went to my lender, which is a federal entity, and the application was all online. It was easy.

But I spent most of Monday analyzing different options to use my 401K to pay off debt. It didn’t make sense to just use that money to pay my bills when I spend about $2,000/month on payments that accrue interest. And then I’d still be screwed when that money runs out.

I made a list of my debt, from the smallest balance to the largest balance, and what those monthly payments were.

• I used half of my personal savings to pay off three balances, which is saving me about $100/month. Two of those are credit cards that I could still use if I absolutely need them.

• Then half my 401K to pay off as much as I could. Six balances. Saves about $800/month.

When that’s all settled, if I use a 40-hour work week, I need to make about $30/hour to break even.

• I worked about 10 hours/day in my last job. Sometimes more. Sometimes weekends. I was salaried so I can’t really equate an hourly rate to those hours.

• Minimum wage in Missouri is $15/hour.

• But you know what? Most retail positions pay more than minimum wage. Like $20/hour - or more.

• And my calculations account for that debt reduction, but they still factor what I currently spend on groceries and eating out. I can cut those expenses. Especially eating out. And I have a lot of opportunity to cut down on groceries by shopping at discount places like Aldi. I know from my previous poverty days that Aldi’s mac & cheese is better than Kraft.

And I haven’t even researched government assistance programs like unemployment and food stamps, which would also make things a little more comfortable.

Last time I was on government assistance, I was paying $1,000/month for daycare just so I could go to work. Diapers were another $1,000/month. And since I was in Phoenix, my electricity bill alone was $700/month in the hottest months. My rent living in a not-so-great neighborhood was $1,300. My son ate, but sometimes I didn’t.

And part of that “wow” factor with recruiters and hiring managers is my retail management experience. Retail managers make just as much - or more - than what a marketing and communications job pays in St. Louis.

And I had fun in retail. Fun that I never had in a cubicle. In an office job, you don’t have stories like European tourists trying on underwear or walking around the store naked. Your biggest argument during the day is being berated by someone who is trying to use an expired coupon.

Accomplishments are visible. Shelves are stocked. Your average time to complete one transaction is measured. Your nightly deposit just needs to match what’s coming from your registers.

You’re talking to customers about their day. Sometimes, you know that you’re the only person who asked how their day is going. Or you’re the only person they’ve been able to talk to all day.

I left retail because my friends and family kept asking me when I was going to get a “real job.” I reminded some of them that I made more money than they did with their college degree, but I still felt like I was a failure. Looking back now, I wasn’t failing at all. I still would have handed in my keys after that one day that my district manager demanded that I work 36 hours straight during the holiday season. But now, I recognize that I was happier back then.

Think differently. Change your perspective. Try something new. “Never confuse having a career with having a life.”

And you aren’t alone. Not just you - we. We aren’t alone.